Addiction takes over your life, stealing both your joy and your time, and making it impossible for you to give back to others and live a generous life. Instead, as you pursue a life in recovery, focus on being generous with your time and giving back to others. In this way, you can take the focus off of yourself and choose to live a life of greater meaning. It’s much easier to just apologize and move on, but committing to living your life differently looks different.
How to Receive and Model Your Gift of Grace
A luxurious residential and detox center with private rooms, in-house chef, medication-assisted treatment, dual-diagnosis care, and evidence-based, gender-specific care. Individualized detox and residential care for addiction and co-occurring conditions using experiential healing activities like dolphin therapy on beautiful Kona. An example would be telling someone how sorry you are that you stole from them and actually giving back what you took.
- Though we would certainly suggest she read some of our other posts on seems like regret and self-forgiveness, we also deeply appreciate the option of a ‘living amends’.
- These steps mean taking ownership of the past, apologizing for wherever you made mistakes and moving forward from those missteps.
- You may couple that making of amends with a request for forgiveness.
- A living amend might include a posthumous promise to the deceased child to, from now on, make it a point to walk their surviving siblings to the bus stop each day.
- Many alcoholics in early sobriety struggle with how to make direct amends for certain offenses against others.
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Firstly, it allows the person in recovery to separate themselves from the disease of addiction, recognizing that their past actions were not a reflection of their actual values and character. Apologizing to loved ones can be a challenging and emotional process. At Harmony Haus, we offer the guidance and support members need to navigate this stage in their recovery. Through our various sober living programs and services, our members gain the tools to reflect on their past and communicate more effectively. Reaching out to people you have hurt can be intimidating.
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When I don’t do things perfectly, when I mess up, when I make mistakes, and when I make poor choices, I would love it if I am quickly forgiven and not chastised about the matter. Also, consider writing out a letter to express your feelings. You don’t always have to send it, but an exercise like this can be very healing. Maybe you want to learn how to do Step 9 of AA, or you’ve heard of AA’s Step 9, but you do not know how to accomplish this step – whether in AA or CR. AA stands for Alcoholics Anonymous and is similar to Celebrate Recovery. Lists to Help you Through Any Loss is for people experiencing any type of loss.
- Making living amends can take on many different forms depending on the relationship to those affected by the wrongdoing.
- One vital point often discussed is whether extending an apology is the same as making amends.
- So be sure to talk with your sponsor and/or support group about your plan in the event that you need support.
- Step 9, often seen as one of the most challenging, requires courage, humility, and guidance.
It took me a while to “get it,” because it’s not a term I use daily unless speaking to my sister Grace. I know I said it once, but I’ll say it again – if you are dealing with guilt and you haven’t read the articles above, now is the time. If there are any concerns about content we have published, please reach out to us at
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My only goal right now is to acknowledge the harm I caused and do what I can to make amends, if that’s possible. As a part of my recovery process, I have reflected on my behavior and realized that I have hurt you in the past though my___________. I do not expect anything in return and sincerely appreciate you taking the time to (read or listen) to me. However, completing it often brings immense relief and renewed hope. Step 9 is about restoring peace through self-forgiveness, forgiving others, and making amends, which is essential to recovery. When held in the bonds of an addiction, it’s not uncommon for many relationships to feel strain, or to fall apart living amends together.
You can still be true to that by making an honest apology and not making excuses for why you didn’t follow through. Then, the next time around, make sure to make good on your word. Making any type of amends can be challenging, but in this article, we’ll focus on living amends and tips for how to make them. If you or a loved one is struggling to stay sober or needs help maintaining sobriety while working the 12 Steps, Eudaimonia Recovery Homes can help.
Enroll in Our Sober Living at Harmony Haus
Working Step 9 is challenging and you’ll likely need support and assistance as you work through it. At Eudaimonia Recovery Homes, we provide personalized recovery support with comfortable sober living Austin, Houston, and Colorado Springs. We also provide regular drug and alcohol testing, professional peer recovery support programming, a three phase recovery program, volunteer placement services, and employment and educational support. One of the best ways you can make long-lasting changes to your relationships is by being true to your word.
When those we’ve hurt are not able or willing to accept our amends, we can still move in a positive general direction by taking intentional steps to be of service to others or making living amends. It’s also important to take great care when making amends to someone who is in active addiction because our primary responsibility is to safeguard our own health and recovery from substance abuse. If making an amends means exposing ourselves to triggering environments, we ought to reconsider and discuss healthy alternatives with a sponsor or addiction counselor.
This book discusses some of the most common grief experiences and breaks down psychological concepts to help you understand your thoughts and emotions. It also shares useful coping tools, and helps the reader reflect on their unique relationship with grief and loss. Thank you again for taking the time to listen (or read this) and please reach out if you have any questions or feedback in the future.